Do you really know what madness is?

Turn Around...... and Leave
don't ever come back.... this is my life and ill decide who will be a part of it and who will not.
Life is a fiction... fiction is reality... reality is subjective. What is real for you is unreal for me.
You are scared to face the realities of life and thats why you think that what you see is the truth and what you cant see you think it doesn't exist.
Truth cannot be seen... you are mistaken..... you are wrong... it has to be believed.
You think death is real... I think peace after the end of this life is real.
Open you eyes.... no... this time... open your mind.
Turn around the pages of your life .... you ll see you have lived only half of your life. You will die without living your life because you dont want to accept the reality ... the reality is everything you dont have.
You can never possess the truth ... its just there ... it will remain there forever.
No .... don't leave right now.... I haven't finished... why don't you let me say what i want to say? Why don't you want to hear my story... I am sick of listening to your story ... its full of lies... there is no truth because truth has to be lived. Remove that mask .. I want to see what you look like... I want to feel the warmth on my fingers when I touch your face but why don't let me come close... why?.... why are you so reserved... you lie because I know that you are not reticent. You want me to pay attention to you but you stop me from going deep inside your mind.... tell me your secrets ... I want to know them... Don't despise me. Just like you despise truth. Just like you despise everything you can't possess.
Don't tell me to give you reasons for my beliefs, my thoughts, my stories, my fiction.
There are no reasons ... there are... but for you they are unreal.... because you have divided everything into two categories... just - unjust, right- wrong, sad endings - happy endings, fiction - reality.
come out of it.. and live life without any definitions... thats how you will experience truth...there are no two sides of a coin... everything merges ... assembles into one.
ONE.... WHOLE.... LIFE.

just.... in a weird mood.

Look at me....
do you think i am scared?
do you think my spirits are dead?
do you think you will afflict me with your presence?

Once....
I did love you.
once....
I did long for you
I felt your touch was solacing
But now I want to break free.... for myself!

It was only when I looked inside your eyes
dessembling and yet enchanting...
you smiled at my impuissance.
i realised ... I wasn't losing anything
It was all just a phoney fiction.

I cant live the dream anymore.
for you were just a dream .... surreal!
you cannot mollify me any further
you are unreal.... just my imagination.

Random Thoughts

Why are exams always more important than the regular classes.
It seems like throughout the year our teachers only prepare us for these final exams.
At the end of which, you are handed over a marksheet.
your reward or punishment for the year.
so, what if i fail or top in my exams.... what counts more than that one piece of paper is what i learnt in the entire year.
the friends i made, the trips we had, the goof ups, the class discussions, the classes i bunked.
But there is no place for all this in my single page report card..... thats the onl
souvenir... that I must keep.

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I find it difficult to form opinions at times,
I don't understand why opinions are so important
actually they are but so what if everybody doesnt know about what Arjun Singh said or about Megha's fast... I dont like it when people know about everything not because they want to know but because they dont want to be left behind in the intellectual crowd.
I hate most the way people look down upon others who know less than them.
I cant and dont want to know about everything. Why should I know about football or types or rock music or the pubs in Delhi...... just because all young people know. Well tell them to fuck off!

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Some things are important but hyped....
5 shahrukh khan
4 Rang de Basanti
3 Student protest -link this to the spirit of rang de ( now a days on everything and anything)
2 Board exams
1 ummmmmm open to suggestions from you all!

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Why can't some women still refuse their husbands when they dont want to make love and why are they hesitant to tell them when they do!
How does a woman feel after legitimately getting raped by her husband?

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Why do I have to go on a diet and make myself thin.
Why do i need to swim to gain some height.
who said being tall and thin is being beautiful.
Read the matrimonials .... they are a great source of entertainment.

sometimes there is no point in questioning....

I am a seven year old girl.
I have been living on the streets of New Delhi... the capital of India.
That makes me superior to the street dwellers of less developed cities!
For me, Dilli is a city of rich people who drive big cars and live in bunglows
and poor people who live on the streets ... like me!

Everyday I meet tons of different kinds of people
generous ones ... who give me money
seths and sahebs who have abundance of wealth but frown with disgust at my sight.
Good citizens .... who litter on the road and provide us little feasts, occasionally.
Active didis who keep telling us that we have rights
we should learn ... play with other kids
The most silly thing they say is that we should not beg on the streets...
I tell you this city is full of crazy people!!

Once she told me... that this is not my destiny!
I don't deserve it.
I should raise my voice and question everything wrong.. everything unjust.

Lets begin
I question my parents who abandoned me on the station platform
wrapped in a newspaper
burnt my legs
only because I was a girl!

I question that generous man who picked me up from there
raped me.. several times
and left me on the streets to perish.

I question god who created a stomach and hunger
but never provides with any food.

I question the police wallas
who always hit me and ask me to give them money.. when I dont have any for myself.

I question humanity, the human rights commission, the NGOs
who keep talking about us in A.C. rooms
and never do anything real.
There maybe a few exceptions but they are very few and we are many.

I question... because I have learned to question
but i dont think anybody has learned to answer me....